I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
