i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
