sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize