their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
