I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
