I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
