drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
