You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
