kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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