playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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