and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
