I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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