put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
