you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
