I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
