i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
