you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
