i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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