I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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