Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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