im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize