Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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