Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize