Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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