I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize