Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
