I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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