worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
