tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
