Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
