Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
