Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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