They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
