I want to stick my p in your. b.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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