you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize