it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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