Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
