Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
