she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
