Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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