When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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