i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Found the puke drawer
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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