She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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