u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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