I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
