I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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