she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
