think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
