What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
