I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
