HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
