at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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