grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
