Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize