community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
