it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize